Accumulated thoughts

• The exception to loyalty, is love.  It is abhorrent to think that the exception could be “a one night stand”.   Even love though, at some point must be sacrificed for loyalty.  
• what makes buddhists bad boyfriends: it is impossible for them to miss anything. Our of sight, out of mind. How so? if you think about it, every instance of 'missing' has to be for selfish reasons, meaning that you miss something because you're thinking of yourself in relation to a person or context. How could you miss something from another person's perspective? Only if you were an arrogant sun-of-a-gun, a solipsist ray of sunshine for the rest of the world. In other words, there is no way of missing someone that does not fall on selfishness. The arrow will always point back at yourself. Dangerous, huh?   Also, reading “impermanence” and “non-attachment” as a particular type of prescription. If things are impermanent and attachment only leads to suffering, its better to let yourself be taken down the river currents, in stead of trying to wade through them, walking up stream to take advantage of the rapids and so on.. There is dharma to be found in life, in relationships, in the everyday hassle and trouble of laity: patience, generosity, discipline, wisdom, and so on. But there is this sort of escapist surrender in which they let themselves be taken by “impermanence..!  non-attachment..! nothing you can do about it..!” You can find ways. You can work things out. Even if the current of impermanence does indeed take you down the stream. That's why commitment is nice. You figure out how to using the currents and tides the river provides in spite of it always taking you down stream. Would you stop swimming because of it?  
• I believe in love. I believe in the package of love, that yes, includes “negative/afflictive emotions” like pain, sorrow, attachment, joy, jealousy.. I accept them. I’d rather believe in love and embrace all of it, because, I think its worth it than to conform to a pacified existence... Although--there is nothing worse in this world than dissatisfaction. That is the root of all poisons. Rather to be satisfied, content.. and what then about the love package?     ---theoretically thinking though, to embrace the package of love is to be a little dissatisfied at the root of it: you have joy, pain, jealousy, sorrow, ecstasy, but then dissatisfied lurks in, discontent, unstable...blaghh! always looking to go back to the main feeling of powerful love, everything else drawing arrows back to it..   to be content though.. does that sacrifice the package of love?--    I don’t know.
• We truly are composite beings. All composite things that come together must then fall apart..  teeth is an example. Going to the dentist and having the possibility of my tooth being extracted. But that’s my tooth(!) it’s me(!) what will I do without it? will I laugh covering my mouth? I will loose my laugh(!).. that laugh which is so mee...!  :: ((  I suffer because I hold on to it as me, I identify with it.. But the moment its extracted, I throw the tooth away, I don’t keep it..  We are composite and composite things come together to then fall apart. 
• Being composite is painful. Half of it is the doctor poking tweezers down the roots of my teeth, but the other half is my own body, getting infected, rotting itself. I put the body, she puts the knife. She is only trying to help. Being composite is painful. 
• It is the same nerve that coils in pleasure and pain. 
• It is the same nerve that coils in pain and pleasure. 
• I love doing prostrations. I like the feeling, and I appreciate the thoughts it creates.
• I really like Boudhanath. I would like to say “Nepal” but I hardly know it.. I love Boudha. The stupa, the people with mala beads, the amount of candles they light all along the street, the verandas, the stairs, the temples. Om mani peme hung’s. 
• Jenny Singer is here   <3     I like it.
• Eyes are the sneakiest, most powerful thieves. Watch over them.

                                                                                                      Boudha Stupa