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| Bedview No. 6 (Jan. 29, 2015) |
The police trucks are dragging panopticons around the city.
The long evening silence is broken momentarily
By an explosive sneeze in some nearby apartment.
Laying in bed I contemplate the gender of the sneezer.
At midnight the ceilings and roofs and walls
Of every building disappear.
The entire city can see itself.
Half-a-million people lay quietly in their beds
But I sit up slightly to see if I can find the sneezer.
Yes, I think I was right. It was a woman.
3 comments:
I really like this piece Derick! I don't know what you were thinking of, but it can easily sound like a Big Brother or Matrix episode, yet it's so simple at the same time. (Though takes quite some imagination to come up with).
So yeah.. it's like seeing out and in at the same time. A city that is aware of itself, yet feels observed and intimidated by itself as well... where not even a sneeze goes by without sounding tremendously explosive. The components sound mechanical to me as well: the panopticon, the city, the "explosive" sneeze, the ceilings and roofs... I almost expected a protruding spring in your bed as you lay there wondering who the sneezer was. It sounds kind of gray in that sense... a mechanical city working ahead in synchronized time (the cars, the work hours, the patterns of waking and sleeping, and checking in), where a sneeze upsets not only a silent night, but the mechanical workings of the entire system.
Yeah. I really like it. It was a woman on the bed.
Well executed, simple, captivating.
Thank you for your posts!!
Thanks for reading and giving the poem some thought! Your interpretation is right on -- I'm happy to know the ideas are coming across. Thanks, PP! :)
I agree totally with Maria. This is fantastic. And your pictures have me wondering if the bed of the bedviews is even functional, with all those rips!
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