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| Study No. 26 (Jul. 9, 2013) |
This is the house
She lived in, with the skin-
Colored trim. See there by the
Shed.
Short was her stay,
Like a whiplash, and years ago left
These blades of grass behind for
New-ones.
But still it looks the same––
Still, that rusted weathervane rattles––
The same, all of it, save for the sign: For
Rent,
And the feeling: motionless.
Rent,
And the feeling: motionless.
4 comments:
I love the third stanza, that's thebest use of the structure you built the poem around I think. I think it's strong enough to maybe even leave off the last line, the mood of which might be redundantly placed. Keep it, pitch it, make it stranger or sadder, but maintain the subtelty
Thanks for the feedback! Very helpful (and good point about the last line). I'll try to rework the whole thing, smooth it out.
Fantastico, Derick! I don'tk now if I like the poem or the illustration better.
Thank you!! :)
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